


Potter's Keeper

by deirdre_aithne



Series: Severus/Harry Non-magical AU [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Drug Use, M/M, Minor Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-14
Updated: 2012-06-14
Packaged: 2017-11-07 18:24:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/434042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deirdre_aithne/pseuds/deirdre_aithne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Well, clearly you are in need of a keeper, to ensure that you do not repeat your display of stupidity from this afternoon... I could hardly leave you alone after taking the considerable effort to ensure you did not drop dead on your own doorstep."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Potter's Keeper

**Author's Note:**

> "All That You Love Will Be Carried Away" is a short story contained in the book Everything's Eventual by Stephen King. I suppose it's significant in one of those 'squint and look at it sideways' sort of ways. My eternal gratitude to uniquepov for her hard work on this, to secretlypadfoot for putting up with me every time I wibbled about this thing. Written for the 2012 run of Snarry-a-Thon on snape_potter.

"The hell do you mean, you're _leaving_?"

Severus sighed, closed his eyes, and reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. They had been going at this for the better part of an hour on the other side of the thin wall between his own flat and the one beside it, and he'd been unable to get any work done since the screaming match had started. Dropping his hand away from his face, he plucked up the glass of whisky from beside his laptop and drained it dry in one go.

"So it was all bullshit, is that it? 'Oh, Harry, I would never leave you'-" The young man in the other flat adopted a rather terrible impersonation of his partner's voice without ever lowering the volume of his own, the pitch of it almost screeching now in his anger and setting Severus' teeth on edge. "'You mean so much to me. I love you.' You're a fucking liar, Ron, admit it!"

Slamming his now empty glass down with much more force than was really required, Severus snatched up the bottle of whisky on his desk and poured himself another measure, hesitating a moment before doubling it. He checked the clock as he took up the glass again, glaring at it as though it were the source of the rather monumental distraction, rather than his neighbours. _Potter_ , the actual owner of the flat, had never been too troubling before – he'd been quiet and unobtrusive when he moved in, keeping almost entirely to himself. But once his partner had moved in with him several months earlier, these fights had become an almost routine experience. They had never quite reached this level or this volume before, though, and Severus felt a migraine quickly building as it continued.

 _Finally_ , as he was on the verge of storming over to Potter's flat and telling both him and his partner off, he heard a door slam hard, rattling in its frame and shaking the wall between their flats with the force of it. The door opened again, banging off the wall, and Potter's voice rang out loudly in the hall.

" _Fucking arsehole!_ Go, then, and don't you ever come back here!"

Another slam followed his words, and then, at last, blissful silence. Severus closed his eyes and took one deep breath after another, giving his frustration a moment to subside before opening his eyes again. Looking at the blinking cursor on his laptop screen, he sighed, took a sip of his whisky, and then cracked his knuckles, flexing his fingers before poising them over the keyboard. He had lost the better part of two hours of work due to his neighbours, and was determined to make up for as much of it as he could before considering his workday at an end. Pausing just long enough to listen for any sound of renewed commotion next door, Severus nodded in satisfaction when he heard only silence and settled in to work.

The silence was short lived, however, as barely an hour later, Potter started banging things about in his flat. Growling to himself, Severus drained his glass and attempted to ignore the noise, glaring intently at his laptop screen. He was _so close_ to closing a scene, but the incessant noise from his neighbour's flat was quickly making it impossible for him to focus, losing his train of thought each time he started to find it again. It was the sound of shattering glass that pushed him out of his desk chair, though, and set him stomping across his own flat to the door.

"Throwing a tantrum like a fucking child," Severus muttered under his breath as he swung open his door and stepped out into the hall. "Never mind that some of us actually have work to do and cannot focus for all this damned noise. _Potter!_ " He snapped the last loudly before banging his fist against Potter's door, causing it to rattle against its frame. On the other side, he could hear Potter's stumbling footsteps, and he startled back a step when it sounded as though the man's entire body had fallen against the door with a very loud _thud_.

There was a bit of fumbling with the knob before the door swung inward, and before Severus was able to open his mouth to start snapping at him, Potter collapsed in his own doorway, his entire upper body lying out into the hall with his head near Severus' feet. Severus crouched down immediately, reaching out to feel at Potter's neck for a pulse and letting out a relieved sigh when he felt one, although it seemed to be weak. Whether that was his own lack of knowledge assuming that, or the fact that it actually _was_ weak, he wasn't certain, but he wasn't prepared to take a chance with Potter's life – however much of an annoyance he had become – by assuming the former.

He began fumbling in a pocket to remove his mobile when Potter's hand moved, his fingers grasping at one leg of Severus' trousers. Stilling, Severus looked down at him and met Potter's green eyes, noting the glazed look of them and having to bite his tongue as he made sense of what had happened. Potter opened his mouth to say something, and Severus cut him off.

"Can you stand if I assist you?"

Potter managed to nod and say a raspy, "Yes," before Severus grasped his hand and began pulling him to his feet. It was a struggle, with Potter leaning heavily on him once he was finally standing, and he took a stumbling step forward when Severus began pulling him away from his flat.

"What're you doing?" Potter asked, his words slurring together a bit, as Severus leaned him against the wall between their doors. Once he was certain that Potter would stay upright, Severus stepped back from him and pulled the door to his own flat closed, pulling his keys out of his pocket and locking the door.

"Taking you to the hospital," he answered as he started reaching to close Potter's door as well. "Do you have your key on you?" He saw Potter shaking his head out of the corner of his eye and sighed, peering into his flat and spying a ring of keys hanging on a peg just inside the door. Reaching in, he snatched them up and shut the door, finding the key that nearly matched his own and stuffing it into the lock.

"'m fine," Potter started to protest while Severus dropped his keys into his pocket for him. "Really, just need to-"

"You need to shut up and walk," Severus snapped. Grabbing one of Potter's arms, Severus draped it around his shoulder and held it in place with one hand, wrapping his other arm around Potter, beneath his shoulders, and starting to walk towards the stairs. "I would rather you not kill us both by toppling us down the stairs."

To his surprise, no further protests came, and Potter's feet even began to move, shuffling forward and when he stumbled, his hand curled around Severus' shoulder for balance. Severus' car was parked out on the lot behind their building, and the walk to it took twice as long as it should have with Potter stumbling along beside him. When, thankfully, Potter stayed on his feet and even managed to sit in the passenger seat of his own accord after Severus opened the door for him, Severus let out a relieved breath. Climbing in behind the wheel, Severus quickly twisted his key in the ignition, shooting a glance at Potter as he pulled his seatbelt on.

His eyes were squeezed shut, and his chest rose and fell with quick, shallow breaths. Out in the daylight, Severus was able to see that his skin looked paler than it had been the last time he'd bumped into him in their building, and appeared to have a bluish tint to it now, confirming his suspicions. With walls as thin as those in their complex, it was rather difficult to avoid picking up at least _some_ information about your neighbours, and with the arguments that tended to blow up in Potter's flat especially, some details were nearly impossible _not_ to pick up. That Potter and his partner had a tendency to indulge in recreational drugs had been one of those. Looking at him now, and knowing what had happened to him in the previous hours, it was not difficult to piece together what had happened.

Shaking his head and scowling, Severus pulled his gaze away from Potter and focussed on the street as he pulled the car out of his parking space, hoping that whatever Potter had taken wouldn't kill him before they reached the hospital.

*-*-*-^-*-*-*

Severus had fully intended to deposit Potter at the hospital and return home as quickly as possible. He had no reason to stay behind and ensure that Potter would be fine – they were _neighbours_ , and nothing more, after all – and yet that is precisely what he found himself doing. Scowling all the while, he had resigned himself to a seat in the waiting area outside the A&E for the better part of an hour before bringing himself to get up. He ventured as far as his car, out in the visitors’ lot, before stopping himself. The brat was obviously in need of a keeper, if he had attempted to off himself over his lover's leaving. Although Severus was not keen on the idea of keeping an eye on him, the possibility that Potter might actually succeed on the next attempt if left to himself stopped him from climbing behind the wheel and driving home.

With a snarl, he wrenched open the door of his car and reached into the back seat, fishing around for a moment in the mess of rubbish on the floor before he found what he was searching for. Straightening with the worn and dog-eared book in hand, he slammed his car door closed with more force than necessary and stalked back into the hospital, throwing himself down into the same chair he had occupied before attempting to leave. He earned himself a few curious looks from others sitting about in the waiting area, and flashed a sneer that made the lot of them turn their gazes away. Satisfied, he settled back in his seat and crossed his legs at the knee, opening the book and beginning to read.

He wasn't certain just when he dozed off, his head lolling back against the wall behind his chair and his book held open in his lap. When he startled awake to the sound of someone saying his name, however, his thumb was wedged between pages, just at the beginning of "All That You Love Will Be Carried Away". Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he carefully folded the top corner of the page before looking up at the woman hovering beside his chair.

"Mr Snape, he's awake now, if you would like to see him."

Severus nodded stiffly and clutched the book in his hand as he stood, following the woman away from the waiting area and into the A&E. Potter was awake when she gestured him towards his bedside, lying on his back in the bed and looking at the ceiling above him before startling at the sight of Severus. His eyes widened in an obvious expression of surprise as he struggled to sit upright in the bed, his cheeks flushing red in embarrassment. Tossing his book onto the foot of the bed, Severus remained on his feet, looking Potter over as he finally succeeded in righting himself. For the most part, the pale look he'd had in the car had improved, and he did not appear to be disoriented any longer, despite the look on his face suggesting that he was in a state of shock over Severus' presence.

"I see you have recovered."

Potter nodded, glancing down at his hands resting in his lap. "Yes... They had to-" He cut himself off and made a vague gesture with his hand, shrugging one shoulder as he raised his gaze up to Severus again. "I'm sure you'd rather not hear about it."

"Indeed."

An uncomfortable silence settled between them, during which Potter began to fidget and pluck at the thin sheet that was draped over his lap, looking back and forth between his hands and Severus. For the first few moments, Severus ignored the irritating behaviour before finally snapping at him.

" _What?_ "

"Oh! Erm..." Potter's gaze shifted away from him again, and he brought a hand up to rub his shoulder in a self-conscious gesture. "I just... wanted to thank you. For bringing me here."

"I hardly had a choice," Severus replied in a cool tone. Rather than shrink back from it, Potter seemed emboldened by it and looked up to meet his eyes.

"You could have phoned for an ambulance. You didn't have to bring me here yourself, and you didn't have to wait all this time. So you really _did_ have a choice, and you chose to do all of that. So thank you."

Potter spoke with a level of confidence Severus had never heard from him before, and it took him by surprise. They had shared a few, rather limited conversations while passing each other within their building, but they had consisted of brief, murmured greetings and not much else. For the most part, Severus' knowledge of Potter's personality was gained through what he heard through the wall between their flats, and never once had he heard him speak so determinedly, as though nothing Severus had to say would deter him from speaking his piece.

"Well, clearly you are in need of a keeper, to ensure that you do not repeat your display of stupidity from this afternoon," Severus retorted after a brief hesitation to collect himself again. "I could hardly leave you alone after taking the considerable effort to ensure you did not drop dead on your own doorstep."

"And again, I will say, 'thank you'. But I do not need a keeper, Snape." Potter looked away from him and laid back on his bed again, folding his arms behind his head and looking up at the ceiling.

"Your actions today speak differently."

Letting out a sharp laugh, Potter shook his head. "What happened today was an accident that I _will not_ be repeating, I can promise you that." His voice lowered to a murmur, and Severus had the distinct impression that Potter did not intend for him to hear. "He's hardly bloody worth it."

"I find it rather difficult to believe you reached such a state by _accident_ , Potter."

Severus watched Potter's eyes narrow as he turned his head and glared at him. "You don't know me well enough to make that judgement. Don't make the mistake of thinking you know-"

"I know your sort well enough," Severus snapped, causing Potter to flinch at the harsh tone. "Whatever tale or excuse you might wish to concoct, I very much doubt anyone will be buying into it. And I am fairly certain that, given the nature of your admission here, they will expect someone to watch over you for a few days when you are released."

Potter's lips pursed into a thin line, and Severus suppressed the desire to smirk, suspecting that meant he had already been told as much by one of the staff. "I don't have anyone that would be willing to do that. They were planning to keep me here for a watch, instead."

Severus hummed. "You do not seem especially pleased with that prospect, Potter."

"Because I'm _not_. I want to go _home_ , not be trapped in an uncomfortable hospital bed for the next few days while they try to convince themselves I'm not a danger to myself."

Biting his tongue to keep from pointing out that he was acting like a petulant child, when he had been the one to put himself in this position, Severus considered Potter for a moment. "Perhaps... since I have already been inconvenienced as it is, there would be no harm in my offering to keep an eye on you instead."

*-*-*-^-*-*-*

Potter was released late in the afternoon the day after he had been admitted to the hospital. Severus ushered him into his car with much less struggling than the first time, and they passed the drive back to their building in silence, with Potter busy staring out the window, seemingly deep in thought. It was as peaceful as it was worrisome, when Severus' impression of Potter was of someone much more animate and talkative.

"You said you know 'my' sort," Potter said at length, breaking the silence in the car. The sound of his voice caught Severus enough by surprise that he tore his gaze away from the road for a moment to look at him, wondering if perhaps he'd simply imagined it. He found Potter looking back at him, however, and quickly turned his attention back to driving as Potter continued. "What did you mean by that?"

Severus couldn't stop himself from snorting in disbelief. "What do you _think_ I meant, Potter?"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Potter shrug one shoulder, turning his head to look out the window as he spoke. "You could have meant a lot of things. A bloke that sleeps with other blokes-"

"I would be a hypocrite to judge you for _that_ ," Severus muttered under his breath, realizing Potter heard him when he inclined his head to concede the point.

"Someone from the younger generation-"

"The sort of fools who indulge in recreational drugs to self-medicate their emotional pain," Severus interrupted in a sharp tone. Potter immediately fell silent, and for a moment, Severus thought he had successfully made his point, until he spoke again, softer than before.

"It's very personal to you, isn't it? That sort of thing..."

Severus wasn't entirely certain why he answered. Any other time, he would have been more than happy to simply scowl at the question and change the subject. But something in Potter's tone, curious without being prying, gave him the impression that he might actually be interested to know the answer, and made Severus less inclined to brush him off.

Keeping his gaze focused out at the road, he gave a small nod. "Someone I was rather close to was involved in similar activities."

"Not you?" Potter asked, and Severus shook his head.

"My partner, many years ago." He heard Potter make a soft sound of understanding and pursed his lips, his hands curling tighter around the wheel. It was an old wound, and one that, for the most part, he had healed from. But now and again, it made its presence known again, reminding him of the man he'd lost. The man Potter reminded him of, in some ways, the more Severus saw of him.

"Did he-"

"He's dead," Severus said simply, anticipating Potter's question by the soft tone he spoke with. "Sirius... he was rather fond of the rush he received when he... indulged. When he would get upset over something, whether it was simple stress or an argument between us, he would take something, rather than cope with whatever it was. He preferred to be numb to any negative emotions, which made it difficult for him to deal with them whenever he was unable to get his hands on something to take fast enough."

There was a long pause after his words, during which Severus eased his grip on the wheel and took a breath. Beside him, Potter seemed to stare pensively out the window, before he turned and looked at Severus. "What happened? To make him..." Potter trailed off and waved a hand.

Severus snorted, Potter's inability to say the words striking him as amusing, somehow. "Really, Potter, you can't even say it?" He saw Potter shooting him a look from the passenger seat and shook his head with a soft sigh. "I left him," he answered after a moment.

"He knew that I did not approve of what he was doing, and I had told him several times that if it did not _stop_ , then I would not be around him any longer." Severus fell silent for a moment, watching the traffic around him as he made the turn into the lot of their building and pulled the car into his usual space. He twisted his key to turn off the ignition and sat back in his seat, looking out through the windscreen before speaking again.

"I stopped in to see him, the morning after. I thought perhaps he and I could talk things through again, since I'd had time to think and I'd hoped that he had done the same, after seeing that I really meant what I'd said." Turning, Severus met Potter's gaze as he finished. "He'd overdosed. Within just a few hours of my leaving."

Potter reached a hand over, as though he was about to lay it on Severus' shoulder, but stopped himself short, dropping the hand down to his side. "I'm sorry..."

"I appreciate the sentiment, Potter, but it was a long time ago."

"Still-"

Severus silenced him with a shake of his head and a wave of his hand, gesturing for him to get out as he opened his own door. "You wished to know why it is something that I take rather personally, and I have answered. But it was nearly fifteen years ago. I do not need sympathy."

Climbing out of the passenger side, Potter only nodded, falling into step behind Severus as he led the way into their building. He didn't speak as they made their way up the stairs, but paused at his door and began reaching into his pockets before Severus curled a hand around his upper arm.

"I believe I said I would be keeping an eye on you, Potter."

"What, you were serious about that?" Potter asked in an astonished tone. He looked up at Severus, his mouth hanging open a bit, and stumbled along as Severus pulled him a little further down the hall to open his own door. "Christ, Snape, _really_?"

"Yes, Potter, really. Now please, step inside." Severus held the door open and gestured with his free hand for Potter to enter his flat. Their eyes locked, and neither moved for several moments before Potter finally relented and moved forward, huffing as he moved past Severus into the flat.

"I could just leave in the middle of the night, you know."

"You could, except that you will be sleeping in the bedroom, and I will be on the sofa," Severus stated matter-of-factly as he shut the door behind them both. "I am a rather light sleeper. You wouldn't even make it through the sitting room. Now-" Severus waved off Potter's scowl and gestured him toward the sofa. "Find some way to entertain yourself. I have work to do."

"Work?" Potter seemed to perk up a bit at that, as he seated himself on the sofa. Resisting the desire to roll his eyes, Severus nodded and moved to his desk tucked into the corner of the room.

"Yes, work," he said, dropping himself heavily into his chair and pressing the power button on his laptop. He swivelled the chair towards the desk, putting his back to Potter as he waited for his writing program to load. Potter was blissfully silent long enough for him to get it open and scroll over the last few pages that he'd worked on to get his mind back on track to where he was, but then popped up behind his chair, startling him.

"What sort of work do you do?"

Scowling, Severus turned and pressed a hand against Potter's shoulder, pushing him back away from his chair. "I _write_ , Potter. Now leave me be and find some way to entertain yourself." Severus turned his chair again, only to close his eyes and reach up to pinch the bridge of his nose when Potter spoke behind him in a sulking tone.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Read a book or something," Severus snapped. "I honestly can't be arsed to _care_ , so long as you are _quiet_ and keep yourself out of trouble."

He heard Potter make another huffing sound, but relaxed into his chair when no further argument came. Taking a deep breath, Severus cracked his knuckles and flexed his fingers before settling his hands over the keyboard. The cursor quickly worked its way across the screen as he typed, forgetting for a few moments that Potter was there until he heard him making noise near one of the bookshelves across the room. Pausing for a moment, he bit his tongue and decided not to snap at him just yet, ignoring the sound while he continued focussing on his work.

"Bloody hell," Potter chimed, loud enough to earn himself an annoyed sigh from Severus. "You read the Tobias Prince books, too?"

Without ceasing his typing once again, Severus kept his gaze on the screen and muttered under his breath, "Something like that."

"He's a bloody genius, isn't he?"

"Or entirely mad," Severus deadpanned.

"Well, you've got all of his books. You can't think he's that mad if you enjoy his work so much..." Potter trailed off, his voice replaced by the sound of books being moved around the shelves. "You even have his newest one!" he said, taking on an astonished tone. "This isn't even due to be released until next month. How did you get it?"

Severus rolled his eyes and reached for the bottle of whisky resting on his desk, wrenching it open and pouring a measure into his glass from the night before. "My publisher sends me a copy as soon as they're finished printing. I _always_ have them early."

"That hardly seems fair, sending you someone else's books..."

Stopping himself with his glass midway to his lips, Severus swivelled his chair to look at Potter in disbelief. "You _cannot_ be that stupid, Potter." Potter's answer was to stare at him blankly, with the book in question still in his hand, and Severus shook his head before knocking back his drink. "They are _my_ books, you twit. Honestly, I'd thought you were intelligent enough to put that much together, but clearly two and two makes _six_ with you."

Potter's eyes narrowed and he folded his arms over his chest. "Well, how was I supposed to know? It's not your name on the cover of the damned things."

"No, but I would have thought the knowledge that I am a writer, and mention of a publisher would have made it clear. Now, please cease your childish sulking, shut your mouth, and allow me to do my work."

" _Fine_ ," Potter snapped. He remained silent long enough for Severus to turn his chair around again before speaking in a softer tone, "Would you mind if I-"

Severus silenced him with a wave of his hand. "Read it. I really don't care, so long as it keeps you quiet."

*-*-*-^-*-*-*

"Where did it come from?"

Severus looked up from his box of takeaway and swivelled his chair around to arch an eyebrow at Potter. He was perched at one end of the sofa, his feet tucked up under him and his takeaway box in his lap. He answered Severus' unspoken question by gesturing at his book on the low table in front of the sofa, quickly swallowing his mouthful before speaking again.

"The name. Your pseudonym. Where did you get it?"

"My parents," Severus answered. He took another bite of his curry before realizing that Potter was still looking at him as though expecting him to elaborate and rolled his eyes with a sigh. "My father's name was Tobias – it also happens to be my own middle name – and my mother's maiden name was Prince. Explanation enough?"

"Oh..." Potter looked somewhat disappointed as he nodded, dropping his gaze back to his own dinner. "I thought maybe there'd be some sort of story to it or something."

"Well, so sorry to disappoint you," Severus muttered. If Potter heard him, he did not react, and Severus took advantage of his silence to finish off his takeaway, depositing the empty box on his desk as he swivelled his chair around again. He wiped his hands hastily on a napkin and then poised his fingers over the keyboard, freezing and biting back an annoyed groan when Potter spoke again behind him.

"So where do you get your ideas from?"

Severus made an effort to ignore him, closing his eyes and slowly counting down from ten under his breath. Potter had been blissfully silent for the first hour after finding his books on the shelf, after which he had done nothing but whine about being hungry until Severus had relented and ordered takeaway. He had hoped that once the twit had been fed, he might actually _shut up_ long enough for him to get a bit of work done.

His counting made it as far as six before Potter piped up again, this time closer to his ear, and Severus twisted in his chair to find him hovering a few steps behind him, takeaway box in hand.

"I mean, I really doubt you spend much time solving any actual crimes," he said, pausing to take a bite of his chicken curry, hastily chewing and swallowing so he could continue. "And I don't get the impression you go out too much, not that I'd really know, but still. So I just wondered-"

" _Potter_."

"Hm?" Potter's attention snapped to Severus' face, giving him a curious look while he chewed another bite of curry.

"Sit back down. Finish your supper. And. _Shut. Up,_ " Severus hissed through gritted teeth. "I've hardly gotten to do an hour's work since we arrived, and I have very little patience for distractions on the best of days. _Least_ of all, when I am on a deadline. Now get your arse back over to the sofa and entertain yourself _quietly_ , or go to bed!"

Severus twisted his chair around again and began to type, but continued to watch Potter out of the corner of his eye. Potter stared at him for a moment before his face scrunched up and he turned away quickly, and Severus heard him stomping across the flat. He muttered something under his breath, but what it was, Severus couldn't hear, and after a moment, the door to his bedroom shut with a _slam_. Letting out a sigh of relief, Severus leaned back a bit in his chair and focussed on his laptop screen as he began to write.

It crossed his mind that perhaps he was being too harsh on Potter, but he quickly shook the thought off. He was doing nothing he wouldn't have done to anyone else who insisted on disturbing him while he worked, and although he had brought Potter into his home, that did not give him an excuse to bother him. When Potter did not emerge from the bedroom after nearly two hours, however, and had not made a sound, Severus found himself casting glances at the closed bedroom door.

Another hour went by before he finally admitted to himself that he would not be getting any more work done until he checked up on Potter, but Severus found himself unable to do so much as knock on the door. Frowning to himself, he hovered in his own hall, staring at the innocuous piece of wood with his fist raised and ready, before slowly lowering it down to his side after several moments. He strained to hear some sound through the door to tell him what Potter was doing, and finally made out the soft sound of the page of a book turning.

With a soft sigh, Severus stepped back from the door and moved back out to his sitting room, dropping himself heavily at one end of the sofa. He considered turning on the telly, but thought better of it when he realized how that might look to Potter; that he had effectively booted him from the room griping about his need to work, only to wind up lazing on his sofa to watch some silly program. Shaking his head, Severus stood and retrieved his bottle of whisky from his desk, as well as his book, and returned to his seat. Although it wasn't much better of a plan, stretching out and doing a bit of reading seemed a better option than staring at a blinking cursor on his laptop screen for another hour. Pouring himself a measure of whisky, he settled himself on his back across the sofa and opened up his book.

The sound of a door quietly clicking closed woke him some time later, and Severus kept his eyes closed and breathing even as he listened to footsteps slowly work their way into the room. He hadn't realized that he'd fallen asleep at all, but as he became more aware of himself and his surroundings, he noticed that his book seemed to have slipped free of his grasp at some point while he slept. One arm had fallen over the side of the sofa while the other was draped across his chest, and his head was resting on the sofa arm, face turned out towards the centre of the room.

Severus listened to the footsteps crossing the room, moving away from the bedroom towards the door. Cracking his eyes open just enough to see, he watched Potter as he continued creeping forward with his back turned to the sofa. With a frown, Severus started to push himself upright and froze when Potter stopped a few steps into the hall. Quickly lying down again, he watched and waited to see what Potter was doing.

Potter hovered a few steps back from the door for several minutes, seemingly warring with himself. To Severus' surprise, rather than step forward once he began to move again, Potter took another step back from the door and began to turn. Closing his eyes before he could realize that he was awake, Severus listened as Potter slowly retreated back into the bedroom, closing the door again with a quiet _click_. Severus opened his eyes again when there was no sound to indicate Potter might come out again, and found himself staring at the bedroom door for some time, lost in thought.

He hadn't spoken or attempted to gain Potter's attention in any way, and although he had moved, Severus was fairly certain that Potter hadn't noticed. _Something_ had stopped him from trying to leave, despite having what he would have seen as the perfect opportunity. Someone who had railed against being watched over for the next two days, and had felt mistreated enough to storm off and hole himself up for the better part of the night, should not have simply turned around and gone back to bed when offered a chance to leave. Pushing himself upright on the sofa, Severus nearly moved up to his feet, intending to go knock on the door and speak to Potter, just to ask what it was that he'd been thinking by trying to leave, but also by staying, before he thought better of the idea.

Instead, Severus checked the time and moved to his desk in the corner, opening his laptop as he dropped himself into his chair. Whatever motivation Potter had for staying, he could explain it in the morning. Until then, now that he was awake, Severus was determined to get as much work finished as he could before he tried to sleep again. If he was lucky, he might manage another hour or so before sleep caught up to him and then carried him through to a decent hour of the morning.

*-*-*-^-*-*-*

Severus startled awake to the sound of a mug being set on his desk, beside his head. He recognized the strong scent of coffee and sat upright, looking to one side to see Potter hovering beside his desk and shifting from one foot to the other nervously.

"I wasn't sure how you took it, so I made it black... I can get you the sugar if you want, or-"

"No," Severus interrupted, curling his hands around the mug and humming at the heat of it against his palms. He lifted the mug up towards his lips and paused to add, "Thank you," before blowing on the steaming coffee to cool it and taking a slow sip. Closing his eyes with a soft groan, Severus savoured the taste, ignoring the way the hot liquid burned his tongue as he took a long drink from the mug before setting it down again. When he opened his eyes again, he saw Potter beaming with pride and nearly chuckled.

"Thank you," he repeated, turning his chair to follow Potter's progress as he moved to perch himself on the sofa. "How long have you been awake? And what time is it?"

Potter shrugged and turned his face away, picking up his book in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. "It's ten or so. I've only been up for an hour, and it took me half of that to figure out your coffee maker." He flashed a sheepish smile and glanced at Severus from the corner of his eye. "It's a bit more complex than mine, so it took a bit of fiddling."

"Why didn't you leave?"

Severus nearly winced once the question left him. He hadn't meant to ask it at all, but it had been eating at him the entire time he'd stayed awake after Potter returned to bed. And while he was feeling a bit more human now that he'd had coffee, he was still rather far from awake, and incapable of stopping himself from asking. To his surprise, Potter simply smiled, turning to put his back against the arm of the sofa so that he was facing Severus.

"So you _were_ awake." Seeming rather satisfied with that knowledge, Potter took a sip from his mug without looking away from Severus.

When he stayed silent rather than explaining, Severus snapped, "Do you intend to answer me?"

"If you ask me nicely, I might."

"Ask you nice- _Potter!_ " Severus scowled as Potter did nothing but smile expectantly at him. "This is _my_ home. I believe that implies my rules and such. I am _hardly_ required to ask you ' _nicely_ ' just to get an answer out of you."

"Oh, of course you're not _required_ to," Potter answered, without his smile ever wavering. "But if you would like an answer, that's what you'll have to do." He shrugged one shoulder and took a sip of his coffee, watching Severus over the rim of the mug.

Pursing his lips into a thin line, Severus glared at Potter, waiting for the usual reaction of someone to shrink back from the look and feeling a wave of annoyance that Potter seemed to be immune to the expression, unlike so many others. With a huff, he drained his mug of coffee and set it down with a bit more force than necessary. " _Fine_ , then," he muttered, folding his arms over his chest while he met Potter's gaze. "Would you _please_ explain to me why you didn't leave last night?"

"Yes."

Rather than launch into his explanation, Potter set down his mug and leaned back against the corner of the sofa, stretching his legs out in front of him across the cushions. He flipped through his book for a moment to find a narrow strip of paper he'd used to mark his place and settled back to start to read. Severus gave him a moment, expecting him to speak, before snapping his name again. However, Potter's gaze never lifted from the page.

"I never said _when_ I would explain, you know. I'll tell you when I'm ready, and all the snapping or scowling you could do won't make me tell you sooner." Surprised by the answer, Severus only gaped at Potter for a moment until Potter looked up at him with one eyebrow arched in question. "Don't you have work to do?"

Scowling, Severus spun his chair around sharply and poised his hands over his keyboard. He thought he heard Potter chuckle from behind him, but refused to turn to look, unwilling to give him the satisfaction. Instead, he closed his eyes for a moment, pushing away his annoyance and attempting to right his mindset for working. When he opened his eyes again, Severus scrolled up to reread what he'd written the night before, struggling to recall where he had intended to go from there.

His mind was unable to focus, however, and after thirty minutes had passed with Severus doing nothing but watching the cursor taunt him with its incessant blinking, he gave up. Slamming the laptop closed, Severus pushed his chair back away from his desk and rose to his feet, carrying his empty coffee mug into the kitchen and refilling it with what little remained in the carafe. He moved back out to the sitting room with mug in hand, seating himself at the opposite end of the sofa from Potter and watching him read. After several moments, Potter looked up from his book to meet Severus' eyes.

Severus opened his mouth to speak, prepared to demand an answer to his earlier question, before thinking better of it. Taking a sip of his coffee, he considered other avenues of conversation and scowled into his mug when he noticed Potter looking at him with an almost knowing expression.

"Tell me what happened the other night," he said, expecting to wipe the satisfied look from Potter's features.

Potter marked his page again and closed his book, setting it aside on the low table in front of the sofa and looked calmly back at Severus. "I thought you already 'knew' what happened."

"You were rather adamant that I was mistaken in my assumption. So why not tell me the truth of it, if it was truly an accident?"

The challenge in Severus' tone was obvious, and he waited for Potter to back down, or snap at him, as he'd done while in the hospital. To his surprise, Potter only looked at him for a few moments, considering him, before straightening and giving him a nod.

"Alright," he agreed. " _If_ you agree to answer a question of my own in return. That's fair enough, isn't it?" Pursing his lips, Severus hesitated before he nodded his agreement and watched Potter's satisfied expression return. "Good. So, my answer first, then, I suppose..." When Severus arched an eyebrow at him in response, Potter finally dropped his gaze away and nodded.

"I guess you heard all of the fuss when Ron left – I know the walls are thin, and we weren't exactly being _quiet_ with the fight. He... I told him I wanted us to quit. It was getting old, you know? Doing that sort of thing. And it was getting to a point where it was almost all he wanted to do when we had time together. Forget watching a film together or going out, he just wanted to stay in, lay out in bed or on the sofa, and get trashed.

"So I told him I wanted us to quit, together." Potter shrugged one shoulder. "I guess I thought he might actually want to do more with himself than just that, like I did. Instead, he got pretty pissed. Started yelling, which got me going..." He trailed off and shook his head, reaching for his cup of coffee on the table and frowning at it after taking a sip. Without thinking, Severus offered him his own mug, and Potter looked at him in surprise before accepting it.

"Thank you."

"Finish," Severus said, waving his hand when Potter tried to give him back the mug, referring to both the drink and his tale with the answer. Potter nodded, curling both hands around the mug and looking into it as he continued.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself. I _wasn't_. I can be an idiot sometimes, but I know losing my boyfriend isn't worth killing myself over. Permanent solution, temporary problem, that whole thing. I just... I needed something to take the _edge_ off it, you know? Just something to make me numb enough that I could just get a bit of sleep and sort it all out with myself in the morning. I was upset, and I wasn't thinking right, though, and I just... took too much.

"It was completely stupid, and I know it. It wasn't even that I felt like I needed it to begin with, I just sort of thought I might as well, since it was there." Shaking his head with a sigh, Potter drained the mug of coffee and set it down, raising his gaze up to Severus again. There was no trace of a lie in his expression, only the look of someone who felt every bit the fool. "I was an idiot, and I'm _lucky_ that it didn't kill me, because that isn't what I wanted. It really was an accident."

Silence settled between them for a moment, during which Potter continued to meet Severus' gaze. Finally, Severus nodded and broke eye contact. "I apologise for my assumption. You must admit, it did look rather suspect, considering the circumstances." Potter nodded in answer, and Severus let another silence fall, waiting for whatever question Potter had in return for him. When one did not come, he looked up again to meet his gaze, arching an eyebrow. "Do you not have a question for me, Potter?"

Another silence, before Potter smiled. "So, where do you get your ideas from?" Severus only looked at him for a moment in disbelief, and Potter added, "You didn't answer me last time I asked, I thought maybe I'd take another try at asking, now that you sort of _have_ to answer."

*-*-*-^-*-*-*

"You certainly are making yourself at home, aren't you?" Severus asked as he stepped out of the bathroom to the strong smell of coffee mingled with the scent of fried eggs and rashers of bacon. Dropping the towel away from his still-damp hair, he brushed several dark strands back out of his face to look at Potter sitting on his sofa with his mouth full, a second plate sitting untouched on the low table, presumably waiting for him. They had passed the remainder of the previous day alternating between talking and entertaining themselves, Potter continuing to work his way through his book, and Severus continuing with his work. Although most of the tension in the flat of the first evening had dissipated over the course of the previous day, it hardly seemed to be an invitation for Potter to make himself so cozy.

"Thought you might appreciate some breakfast," Potter answered around a bite of eggs, shrugging one shoulder before lowering his eyes to his plate and shovelling in another forkful as he swallowed. Ignoring the way his stomach rumbled, Severus rolled his eyes as he moved towards the sofa.

"That's no excuse to-" Stopping himself mid-stride, Severus's brow furrowed as he looked from Potter to the plates of food and back again. "Where did you even _get_ this? I didn't have any of this in my kitchen."

"That's because you don't have anything but coffee and whisky in your kitchen," Potter replied. "And left-over takeaway, which doesn't make the greatest breakfast, really, so I went over to my flat and got the stuff."

Severus scowled at that, folding his arms over his chest and narrowing his eyes at Potter. "If you bothered to leave just to retrieve food, why even come back? I was not under the impression you enjoyed my company _that_ much."

To his surprise, Potter grinned as he looked up to meet his eyes. "Oh, I don't. I just enjoy annoying you, really." Severus' scowl deepened and Potter let out a loud laugh, shaking his head and waving a hand for Severus to sit. "I'm kidding, you know. You really ought to learn to take a joke. I came back because you're meant to be watching me still, I think, aren't you? My time isn't up until tonight, so might as well stick it out a few more hours."

Pursing his lips at the quip about his sense of humour, Severus bent down and snatched up his plate from the table and carried it over to his desk. "Yes, well, so long as you can continue keeping yourself out of my way for those few more hours, I suppose I won't complain."

"I think I can manage. I've almost finished your book, actually."

Severus shrugged one shoulder and turned his chair to keep his back to Potter as he poked his fork at the pile of eggs on his plate, hiding the frown pulling at the corners of his mouth. "Then finish it," he said after a moment, before stuffing his fork into his mouth. Silence answered him, save for the sound of shuffling, which Severus assumed was Potter shifting about to pick up his book. Pushing open his laptop, Severus looked down at his plate again and glared at it as though it were responsible for the strange, niggling sensation in the back of his mind.

"If you manage to finish early enough, perhaps we could play a game of chess, before you return to your own flat."

There was a short pause before Potter answered with a quiet, "I'd like that," and Severus relaxed against the back of his chair, plucking up a rasher of bacon from his plate.

"Good," Severus said, cracking his knuckles and then flexing his fingers as he laid them over his keyboard. "Now, leave me alone for a while, so that I can work."

*-*-*-^-*-*-*

"I knew you were awake, you know." Severus paused with his hand on a knight, looking up at Potter and arching an eyebrow at him in question. Throughout the day, a comfortable feeling had slowly settled over the two of them, and he and Potter had spent the better part of the evening playing one game after another of chess. Somehow, they had progressed to familiar conversation between long stretches of silence while they concentrated on the board between them, usually with Potter saying something or other to start up a small exchange before they would once again descend into silence. Recognizing that he intended to continue, Severus made a small gesture for Potter to elaborate.

"Friday night. I knew you were awake when I was going to leave. You startled when I shut the bedroom door, and then I heard you move once I got past the sofa." Severus only hummed, dropping his gaze down to the chess board again as he made his move, and then scowled as Potter quickly made his own to capture his king-side castle. "What I'd like to know, though," Potter said, waiting until Severus moved to claim one of his bishops to speak, "is why you didn't stop me?”

"I don't know."

"No?" Potter looked at him for a long moment, his hands staying away from the board despite it being his turn. When Severus shook his head and reached for his whisky to take a drink, Potter leaned back in his seat a bit, continuing to look at him. "You wanted to know why I didn't leave; it's because I think you trusted me enough to let me make the choice myself."

"Because I didn't say anything to stop you?" Severus asked dubiously.

"Because you were letting me believe I chose for myself to stay. You didn't get up to stop me, and you didn't say anything, but you also did your best to look like you were still asleep all the while. You told me why you think the way you do about 'my' sort, but if you thought that that was me – if you thought I had really wanted to kill myself – I think you would have stopped me. _Something_ made you think that maybe I wasn't that person, and you let me decide for myself whether to stay or go."

Severus pursed his lips and took another sip of whisky rather than answer, recognizing the truth in Potter's words. If he hadn't thought that Potter might turn around on his own, he wouldn't have given him the chance to really decide for himself. He would have gotten up off the sofa when he started to and stopped Potter before he ever reached the door. When he glanced up again to meet Potter's eyes, he saw a satisfied look there, mixed with something more that he was unable to place, just before Potter broke eye contact to focus on the game board. Picking up his queen and moving her a few squares, he placed her down again and stood.

"Checkmate."

Severus looked down at the board with a frown, admitting after a moment that it was indeed checkmate before raising his gaze up to meet Potter's eyes again.

"It's getting late," Potter said, to which Severus nodded. He knew where this was going, since their games had only been prolonging it – it had started as an offer of one game before Potter returned to his own flat, and had quickly turned to two, and then five, their last being the ninth and the clock on the wall indicating that it was now a few minutes past midnight. "I should get going, then." Severus nodded again and then startled when Potter extended a hand to him, clasping and shaking it as Potter offered him a smile. "Thanks for all of this. As unnecessary as it was, well... I appreciate that you tried to do something to help me."

"You're welcome," Severus answered stiffly, uncertain what more he could say. The corners of Potter's lips twitched as they released each other's hands, and Potter stepped away to move towards the door. He paused with his hand on the doorknob and turned to look at Severus, that small twitch of his lips pulling into a smile as he pulled open the door.

"I'll try to keep the noise down a bit more, now."

Despite himself, Severus laughed, a deep, quiet sound, and shook his head as the door closed behind Potter. He heard the dull _thud_ of Potter's door closing a few moments later, and pushed himself up off the sofa to begin cleaning up the sitting room, taking what was left of their drinks into the kitchen and depositing the glasses in the sink with the dishes from dinner. Severus hesitated in front of the sink, looking down at it for a moment and realizing that the next evening, it would likely be empty as usual, again. The thought did not sit as well with him as he thought it should, but he quickly shook his head and washed up the dishes, before going out into the sitting room again to pack away the chess set.

He made his way to the bedroom afterwards and pulled back the duvet to drop himself heavily in bed. It felt no different than it always had, but as he turned onto his side and tucked an arm beneath the pillow, he smelled an unfamiliar scent on his pillow and frowned. Burying his nose in it and breathing in, he realized that it was from Potter and flipped the pillow over before laying his head on it again.

*-*-*-^-*-*-*

Severus scowled at the document open on his laptop screen, the flashing cursor seeming to mock him as he watched it flicker. With a frustrated growl, he reached out and snapped the laptop closed, spinning his chair around away from his desk and pushing up onto his feet to pace. In the four days since Potter had returned to his own flat, Severus hadn't managed to make himself write more than a few hundred words. He'd found it impossible to focus for more than a few moments at a time, and once he finally managed, he would quickly become distracted.

The first day, he had assumed it was nothing more than curiosity and readjusting to having his flat to himself after dealing with Potter's presence for the better part of three days. By the end of the third, he was beginning to think that he actually _missed_ Potter, and, despite his efforts to convince himself otherwise, the more the day wore on, the harder it was to deny that it was likely true. Scowling, Severus stopped his pacing and turned to look at the clock on the wall. It was still only late afternoon, and Severus caught himself recalling it was about the time Potter tended to start whining that he was hungry.

His scowl deepening and pulling down the corners of his mouth, Severus gave in to the niggling voice in the back of his mind that had spent the past few days demanding that he do it, and stalked out of his flat. The door had hardly closed behind him before he was standing in front of Potter's with his fist raised to knock on the door. Just before his knuckles connected, however, the door swung inward and Potter stopped in the doorway to look up at him, blinking rapidly as though he couldn't believe that Severus was standing there. Severus thought he saw a flicker of a smile cross Potter's features, but it was gone just as quickly as it came and he pushed the notion away.

"Snape. Was I distracting you from your work with my silence, this time?"

Severus had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling, folding his arms over his chest instead and glaring down his nose at Potter. "Actually, yes. You've been a rather terrible distraction the past several days." The response caught Potter off guard, confusion etched into his expression as he opened his mouth to retort before Severus raised a hand to cut him off. "Since it is proving rather impossible for me to get any work done this evening, I wondered if you might wish to continue distracting me for a while longer... Perhaps with another game of chess?"

Again, Potter blinked at him once, twice, before breaking into a grin. "I was just about to go for takeaway. Curry. If you'd like, I could get enough for two, and then we'll play?"

Doing his best to maintain at least an expression of indifference, Severus nodded. "I suppose that would be acceptable. You have twenty minutes, Potter."

"Done." Potter stepped forward and Severus moved back to give him room, watching Potter lock his door and feeling a bit awkward himself, before he moved towards his own door. "Oh, and Snape?"

Severus paused and turned to look at Potter, now poised at the top of the stairs and still flashing that grin at him. "My name is Harry."

"Severus."

Harry nodded. "Severus. I'll see you in a bit, then," he said, turning his shoulder and descending the stairs.

"Twenty minutes," Severus called after him.

"I'll be twenty-one, just to annoy you!" Harry's voice called back from the stairs. Severus chuckled to himself, listening to the sound of the front door of their building opening and then _thud_ -ing closed again as Harry stepped out.

"Bloody twit."


End file.
